Joke

One Tuesday evening, a new visitor came down to the skittle alley and sat down to see how the game was played. After watching a few matches, he volunteered to stick the next match. Having stuck a game, he then got to play in the next game.

As luck would have it, his opponent was one of the club's best players. The visitor refused an offer of a one pin handicap and declined any advice or tuition in how to throw. He said that God would tell him all he needed to know.

After his opponent had set a three, the newcomer stepped into the alley. He bowed his head and stood in a moment of silent prayer, then picked up his cheese and threw. It was a cracking shot. And so was his follow-up shot. He needed no advice on which pin to go for, which side to hit it, whether to use a closed or open cheese.

Naturally all the established players were amazed and wanted to know where he learned to play. He insisted that he had never played before and that God was telling him what to do. After several legs he was scoring level with his expert opponent.

After a particularly skillful Long Double, the other players became curious and wanted to know what sort of advice it was that the Almighty was imparting. The mysterious newcomer refused, saying that his conversations with his Maker were sacred. When a brilliant clearance in the sixth leg put him one chalk in the lead, he was asked again what words of wisdom were being handed down from on high. Again he would not say.

The other player took his first shot in the final leg, leaving three pins. Whether by design or just pure luck he cleared the lot, the difficult Ife shot, for two. The novice with divine connections stepped up and his first shot left exactly the same combination of pins. He too needed to clear them to win the match.

"If you get these, you must tell us what He told you" someone said.

The newcomer agreed. He threw and hit the winger perfectly. This pin clipped the inside of the middle pin and shot across the frame to take the middle pin on the other side. There was a roar of applause which gradually subsided.

"Well?"

"He told me" said the stranger, "to take an Ife for an Ife and a two for a two".

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